Damsel In Distress

Damsel In Distress

Hello Friends,

I realize that it has been a while. Things have been tough. I thought I had a handle on things, and I thought I was going to be okay, but I wasn’t and I’m not. I am not okay.

My dad has been gone 6 weeks now. It still hurts and I still can’t believe it happened. I lost my love for writing and reading. I lost my love for TV. The only thing I kept was my love for music, but even that caused problems. I had to listen to things that didn’t remind me of my dad…which was kind of hard because my dad loved music to.

This past week I finally admitted to myself that I wasn’t okay. I admitted that I may actually need therapy, to talk to a professional. I admitted it to my mom and my brother. And now I admit it to you and the rest of the world. I need help. And it’s okay that I need help. It’s not okay to continue trying to take care of things myself. Somethings you just need a little help getting through. Especially something this hard.

Today, I wrote a poem and actually finished it. It’s something I haven’t done in a very long time. I usually write poetry in my very dark moments. And this is probably the darkest moment of my life. So, for those of you still around waiting to hear from the lost and broken Heather…here is a little poem I have written.

Damsel In Distress:
There is no prince charming
There is no white horse
There is only a damsel
And she is in distress

There is no secret family
There is no secret fund
There is only a damsel
And she is in distress

There is no mother ship
There is no alien planet
There is only a damsel
And she is in distress

This isn’t a fairy tale
Life can be a villain
And here we have a damsel
And she is in distress

She has no kiss to awaken her
She has never lost a shoe
She is just a simple damsel
And she is in distress

Living in reality
Lost in fantasy
She is a damsel
And she is in distress

I know I can’t keep waiting
I have to save myself
I am a damsel
And I am in distress

Advertisements

Watch Me

The other day, my mom made the comment that if I was as dedicated to losing weight and watching my diet, as I am to writing, I would be in really good shape.  After thinking about it, I realize she is so right!  I can be super tired, have a raging headache, and want noting more than to sleep, but I make myself get up and write.  I even skipped church a few times to get a little more time to write.  This is new though, I just got back to writing like this.  I am writing anywhere from 2000 to 3000 words a day, and then a daily blog.  Yeah, I missed a few days with the blog, but I don’t plan on that happening again.

I decided I am going to try very hard, to be just as dedicated to my health as I am my writing.  I mean, writing is my passion, it is how I release the stress of every day life.  I dream of days when I actually get paid for doing the one thing I love the most.  I think I would become very lazy though, sitting at the computer all day writing.  Though, probably not much lazier than I am now.  Now, I sit 8 hours a day at work, then come home and sit behind the computer to write.  Maybe if I was getting paid for my work I wouldn’t be so lazy.

That is why I have decided that my health needs to be part of my passion.  I write because I want to be an inspiration to others, my main focus being on teens.  My heart goes out to teens and how hard life can seem at their age.  I just want to be the person they can look up to.  But I can’t be that person if I let my health go, just because I hide behind a computer all day.  It’s going to be hard, but that is what being a role model is all about.  We work hard for what we have, and we show people that it is possible.

Right now, I am almost at my heaviest.  I have set a goal for my latest novel, I want to have it ready for publishing August 21st, my birthday.  I want to keep that date, I want to add to my goal.  By August 21st, I want to be the healthiest I have ever been.  Which means, I need to lose at least 30 pounds.  But it’s not just the weight that has to go.  I have to do other things, like giving up all the candy that I love, and the sodas.  As much as I am doing it for myself, I am also doing it for anyone struggling with health issues.  Kids, teens and adults alike. I am doing this to prove to everyone, that no matter how busy you feel you are, it can be done.

At the moment, I consider myself working two full time jobs.  My regular day job, and writing.  So let’s add one more full time job to that, because isn’t your health a full time job?  Can it be done?  Of course it can.  Watch me.