Reading in Public

marry him. marry him now.

This is going to be short and sweet. Because it’s Friday and I saw this picture and…well I couldn’t think of anything else anymore so this is where my mind goes.

As most of you know (since I mention it all the time) I am single. Actually, I have been single all of my life, unless you count the two internet relationships I had, which they were so short lived I don’t count them. I have never been on a date, never kissed a boy, never held hands with a boy. Yeah, I am basically Josie from “Never Been Kissed,” only 5 years later after the boy never showed up on the pitchers mound to kiss me. Yeah…that dream sailed long ago.

Sorry, what was I saying?

Oh right. I dream all the time of walking into a bookstore, browsing the books, and grabbing for the same book the same time as the cute guy who has been just as lost in the books as I have. Our gazes lock and it’s love at first sight. I giggle, he hands me the book, and we talk about the author or the book itself. When we leave, we have exchanged numbers and possibly plan on meeting up at a coffee shop for tea…you know, for our first date.

Then it will all spiral from there. On my days off work we are together, either at my house or his. We are either reading, or he is reading (or playing games) while I am working on my novel. We will watch cheesy horror movies together (because that is one of the must haves for my future boyfriend, he has to like horror movies). We will nerd over our favorite fandoms and have Netflix marathons.

And let’s not forget all the time we will spend in bookstores, picking out books and building our perfect library.

And this is probably why I am still single. I dream too much and I am told every day that love doesn’t happen like it does in the movies. But I will hold out until someone comes close to what I am looking for. He has to exist somewhere…right?

Maybe I need to start reading more in public.

Toodles

Friday Funness: Dream Office

Excuse the use of the word funness. It just ticked my brain and I had to get it out.

I wanted to do something fun for Fridays. Something that didn’t require a lot of reading or a lot of thought. For the first Friday, I decided that I wanted to dream of the office I would like to have in the future. I can’t help it, I know I will have it one day.

Let’s jump right into it. I actually created a board on Pinterest with all the wonderful things I found that I loved and you can find that HERE.

Before we get started I thought I would remind you what my desk/office area looks like right now.

Desk 1

To the left is a bookshelf and to the right is a little shelf that holds books and my computer “tower.” On over to the right is my closet door, and beside that is another bookshelf.

Finished

That would be the bookshelf to the right. It has changed just a little since this picture because I was finally able to clear off my shelf on the left and move some books over to it. Of course, I am still running out of room for books. How sad is that??

I hit up Pinterest (did you expect anything else from me?) for some inspiration and I found some amazing things!

Corner Desk

Yes…I did a little edit to the image. I added a picture of Pixel above the desk, and changed the computer wallpaper to Doctor Who. I am dreaming here…I had to make it look more like me. What I love about this office is that it is simple and clean. Though, I would probably be afraid to do anything on the desk out of fear of scratching it. I also love the color. There is just something about the teal/mintgreen/turquoise color that I love. (What color would you call it?)

Wallpaper

This is just for wallpaper reference. I love the whole…forest(?) look of it. If you have ever seen Once Upon a Time, think of the mayors office. I want that wall paper. It looks so amazing and writing in a room that looks like a forest is just begging for imagination and creativity to seep out of every pore.

Big Desk

This right here…kills me! There are so many spaces to put things. So many places to put books and notebooks and pens and…and…and…(deep breaths Heather! Breathe!) Okay, I’m good now. I honestly have a shelf fetish or something. I see shelves and I squee like a little fan girl (which I am that too) and hold out my hands in a “gimme, gimme” fashion like a child does.

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Okay, as you know I am a crafter as well as a writer. This office looks like it has space for every need! Writing space, crafting space, and I will imagine a nice comfy chair in one corner for a reading area. Of course, along one of those walls would have nothing book bookshelves. It has to have a large bookshelf.

Above Desk

This photo is where I am going to start in my own space now. I love the organizing space on the wall. It has inspired me to change up my own area, something that I do have control of right now.

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This is what the wall above my desk looks like right now. It’s not very bright nor is it inspiring. By the way, the small picture, if you can’t read it, it says; “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.” And along the bottom it says “BELIEVE” I got it from the Dollar Tree!

This is my post to start a remodel. I don’t know how long it will take or even what I am going to do. I do know that I will start with the wall and take down everything, find a new place for it and start sketching out some ideas on how to make it more inspiring.

Until I can have my own office, I will make do with what I have in front of me. But I will never stop building my perfect dream office.

Do you have a dream office?? Or dream room?

Toodles

Sore Feet and Determination

First I would like to thank all the lovely new followers!! I promise I will get around to looking at your blogs and following back. Right after I catch up on all my other readings.

I have been a little MIA lately.  I think part of me is just too lazy to sit down and write a blog and another part of me feels like I don’t have anything interesting to say. Which is completely insane because I am awesome and everything I say is interesting. 

I have been doing the same thing I was doing last time I made a post. Baking cakes and cupcakes, working, and going to the gym.  Let’s not forget reading.  I’m sure I have time for much more, but I let the day get away from me.

What other things should I be doing? I will give you a list.

  1. Writing.  My biggest dream is to become a traditionally published author and meet the great Stephen King. Wow Mr. King with my fancy words and wild imagination and then co-write a book with him.  It’s a big dream, I know, but why dream if you can’t dream big?
  2. Learning to use photoshop again so I can make my wordpress look that much more awesome. I lost Photoshop for a while and just got it back on my computer. I was super excited, but I haven’t used it yet.
  3. Baking more cakes.  I have a few people wanting cakes.  I need to practice making different cakes so I can get to my other dream of owning my own bakery. Yes, this girl has many dreams. I just can’t help myself.
  4. Reading more!! I have a goal of reading 50 books this year. I set my goal on Goodreads and until now I have always been a few books ahead. Now, I am “right on track.” I don’t like being “right on track!” I need to be ahead for when the holidays come around and I can’t read as much. I have to meet at least this goal this year!!
  5. Spending more time with Pixel.  My poor puppy probably feels neglected. I am always at work, at the gym, or hanging out at the mall with my cousin.  Pixel has to stay behind at home and wait for my return. But, when she greets me when I get home…best feeling in the world.

I’m tired of the list now. There are tons of things I need to be doing, but never seem to find the time to do them. My priorities are a little messed up I guess. 

A little update, my feet hurt so bad! They are swollen and painful. I know it’s because of my weight, but with my cousin now going to the gym with me I am going a lot more. We have fun and get a good work out in. Hopefully I can stick to it this time. I just have to cut out the junk food. I have to try smaller samples of my cakes.

It’s obvious that I have to try them to see if they taste good, but I should probably just stop at a little taste. 

I know that once I lose the weight I won’t have the problem with my feet anymore. I know that I am fat…there really is no other word for it. I will own up to the fact that I am fat and I need to do something about it. My biggest problem is night time. For some reason I want to eat everything in site. It’s just another thing I need to work on.  And I will. I am determined to be the girl I see in my head.

Dreams and Passions

I have so many dreams for my life, and just as many passions to go along with it.  I have all these things I want to do, but it’s so much it’s overwhelming and I don’t know where to start.

Today is June 1st.  The beginning of the month as well as the beginning of a new week and I have decided now is the best time to start going for my dreams.

My two biggest passions are writing and baking.  Because of my recent run in with depression, neither has taken any part in my life.  It seems that when I get depressed the things I love the most take a back seat while I wallow in my sadness.

The good news is, I will not be unemployed in a few weeks.  I just returned home from an interview for the deli/bakery of my local grocery store.  Hopefully I will end up being more bakery than deli.  And this is just the first step to achieving my dream of owning my own little bakery one day.  I will do it, I will have it.  It will be cute and clean and shiny and I will even bake doggy treats.  See, having a puppy has brightened up my life!

I want to take some cake decorating classes so I can better my techniques and really give the people what they want.  Like the M&M cake that I see everywhere now!

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Yummy!!  I also want to make fancy wedding cakes and cute cupcakes and fun cake pops.  ALL THINGS CAKE!  Actually, I would love to just bake everything.  All kinds of sweet and delicious things.  I just have to teach myself some recipes and get on with it.

I am setting a few goals for myself this month.  And here they are!  You can all hound me if you don’t see any updates.

  1. Go to the gym at least three times a week.  Do not use work or anything else as an excuse not to go.  I joined a gym that is open 24/7 so there is nothing stopping me from going, just myself.
  2. Bake at least one thing every week.  It doesn’t have to be elaborate and fancy, just something new and exciting.  Something that will help me practice.
  3. Write something every day.  Something other than just a blog post.  It doesn’t have to be part of one of the books I am working on, nor part of the short story.  But it has to be something!  Something creative too, I can’t use journal entries to count for this.
  4. Write something I am grateful for every day. Something new.  Even on days where nothing seems good and I am in a bad mood.
  5. I had to come up with one more because I like odd numbers.  So I racked my brain trying to figure out what other goal I could set for myself for this month.  The only thing I could think of was taking my puppy to the dog park.  I need to take her and let her socialize with other dogs.  Who knows, maybe my soul mate has been waiting for me at the dog park.  LOL I know…I have seen way too many romance movies and read too many love stories.  So, one trip to the dog park a week?

So there it is!  I have a few fitness goals as well, but I will put those in another post.  I will post one update a week on how all these things are going.  If you want you can follow me on Twitter at HeartofHeather.  I will keep daily post there.  Let’s see if these goals will keep me going!

 

A Little Inpsiration

I have been taking a course through Penn Foster for a certificate in freelance writing.  I figured through the process I could become a better writer and maybe even start writing for a magazine or newspaper one day.  I have been slowly going about the course and learning so many new things.

Monday I got a package in the mail from Penn Foster, but I wasn’t expecting any new material.

I am such a nerd when it comes to packages.  I love getting stuff in the mail, even if I know exactly what it is.  It’s even better when it’s an unexpected package, especially if it has something to do with books.

I quickly ripped the package open excited for what was inside.  My last package came with a book full of short stories and another book about journalism.  So I just knew that there was something magical in the box.  Of course, what book isn’t magical?

I promise you, when I opened the box and saw what I got I did a happy dance.  My smile reached my ears and I giggled like a little school girl.

Writers Market

YES!! It was the 2014 edition of the writer’s market.  You better believe I whipped that book opened and gazed at all the brilliant pages.

There are so many tips for writers.  Even how to manage your social media and how to perfect your platform.  What? Yes!  This book is where the magic lays dormant, just begging to be released and explored.

My school girl giggle turned into the laugh of a demented witch, because I knew I held the power in my hands.  Mwahaha!

That night I went through the book highlighting all the Literary Agents I wanted to look into.  I scanned over the book publishers and contest.  I even skimmed through the magazine sections.  I found one magazine that wants people who write book reviews.  My eyes lit up.

What do I do on this blog?  I write book reviews!  Among other things, but I write book reviews!

Of course getting this book in the mail has amped up my drive and my muse has been awoken from her deep slumber.

It is time for this girl to grab up her dream and run with it until it comes true or death takes me.

For me, this book sparked my newest motto.  YOU CAN’T STOP ME!  I know I will be spending many more nights and long days scouring the pages of this book while I polish up my manuscript.  I will have a beautiful query letter and I will be traditionally published one day.  And by one day, I mean one day in the very near future.

Excuse me now while I go perform my happy dance one more time.  🙂

Recycled Souls

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I have always believed in past lives, reincarnation.  I feel like the life I am living now is not the first and possibly not the last I will live.  Our souls are just recycled, placed into new bodies to experience new things and different types of living.  I like the idea of having a heaven to go to once we die, but in a way it sounds a bit boring.  We spend our entire lives fighting to live and survive, then we grow old and our souls just go sit around somewhere needing nothing and pretty much doing nothing?  How can a soul live for 60, 70, 80 or so years and just sit dormant with the big man upstairs?  I like to think that there are places to see in heaven and things to do, but will it be as adventurous as living life on earth?

I love the idea of having more than one go at life.  Maybe our memories are stored in a jar somewhere, waiting for our return.  It not only sounds fun, but it also leaves with a few questions.  What was I like in my past life?  Where did I live?  What did I learn?  Who did I know?  Who was I?

I like to believe that my life before this one was lived in the 70’s.  I was a hippie that died of an overdose.  Sounds crazy I know, but I am always easy to laugh at dumb things and I am just naturally high on life.  So I died with drugs in my system in a past life, and drugs were the thing in the 70’s.

I also like to think that in another life or even several lives I have been some kind of leader.  I don’t know if I was a queen or just the leader of a small group of people, but I was a leader.  That would explain my undying need to be someone important and to lead a group of important people into battle or something.  I know I was an awesome leader though, because I want to take care of people.

The one thing that I can’t see from my past lives is actually living a long life.  I feel like in all my past lives I have died young.  I don’t even know why I think that, but I find it hard to see myself in this life growing old.  It actually does worry me a bit, but maybe this will be my last life and I will fall in with the vampires and lead them into the light and let the world know they exist. Who knows, maybe there is some kind of supernatural community out there looking for me, for their queen that was killed in battle.  I’m just waiting for my people to find me and fill me in.

It is the life of a dreamer.

What do you think your past life would have been?  Even if you don’t believe in past lives and all that jazzy stuff, open your imagination and make something up!  It’s a fun exercise at least.

Wacky Wednesday: Sleepless Nights

I have trouble going to sleep at night.  This has been going on for years.  The nights that I do get to bed early and fall asleep quickly, I wake up with a bad headache and feeling even less rested then nights that I toss and turn all night.

I do move a lot in my sleep, I actually feel sorry for my future husband.  He will either wake up with bruises all over his body from me kicking or punching him.  Or he will learn to sleep in another bed. Maybe once I get married I will chill out with the sleep fighting.  I’m pretty sure I am taking sleep karate or something.

I figured out why I feel like I don’t get any rest when I sleep so hard.  It gives the vampire, who lives in my closet, time to feed!  I am sleeping so hard that nothing can wake me, so he swoops in and takes a little blood.  Of course, how else would a closet vampire survive.  He doesn’t get out much, because he is afraid of the world.  Which, really doesn’t make sense.  He is strong, fast and super old.

How do I know all this about him?  I honestly don’t know.  I think on nights that I don’t sleep as hard, he talks to me through the closet door.  I just think I am dreaming.  I also think that he changed the time on my clock this morning.  My clock was an hour fast and I thought I was going to have a panic attack because I was super late getting up.  I was actually baffled that time had gone by so quickly so I checked my watch.  Evidently the vampire couldn’t figure out my watch or my iPhone…

So there you have it.  I have a vampire living in my closet.  He drains my energy when he can’t get to my blood and feeds on my blood when ever he gets a chance.  I wonder if he is cute, because I would totally give him my blood willingly if he is cute.  I like to imagine that he has long flowing, black as night hair.  Deep sea green eyes, and that strong jaw that I love in a guy.  Yep, my dream guy is a vampire, living in my closet.  Now, if I could just get him over his social anxiety and convince him to show himself to me.

I may be a vampire by the end of this year!

Irrational Fears

I have a bit of a confession for everyone tonight.  I have never dated, never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, and never even held a boys hand.  But that isn’t the confession.

I told people for years that I was just too busy for a relationship.  I told them I needed to focus on my studies so I could get a good job and depend on myself.   That’s not the confession either.

The confession, I am absolutely terrified to date.  Not just the dating, but the whole flirting part.  The part where I get super close and comfy with someone that I don’t mind letting them invade my personal space.

Seriously, at my age, dating should be easy.  I should have gone a million dates, and kissed at least a few guys.  Heck, at least flirted a bit.  Oh, I flirted online, I was good at flirting online.  That was safer, no one could actually see me and I couldn’t stumble on my words.  When you flirt online, you write words.  That means you think about it, type it, read it, and change it when it sounds completely retarded.  In real life you can’t take back stupid words and you can’t hide the fact that you just stuttered.  Real life people can also see you blush. Yep, real life kind of sucks.

I am naturally awkward.  I have been the awkward weird girl all my life.  It doesn’t make it easy to make friends at all.  The friends I do have went through a lot of crap just to call me a friend.  I live in a world where fairies and dragons exist.  I have this wild fantasy that a vampire will find me one day.  And I won’t have to make him fall in love with me because he is already in love with me.  We just click, the end.  No silly dating and strange phone calls.

So there.  I have never been in a relationship because the idea terrifies me.  It’s even hard for my family to know me, how is some random guy going to get to know me.  Especially when I keep everyone at a distance.  I tend to push people away, just so they don’t get too close.  Yeah, it happens all the time in movies.  The girl pushes everyone away but there is that one guy that forces his way into her life and she falls in love with him.  At this point, that is what is going to happen to me.

I can’t even talk to a guy I find attractive, as I am sure I have already mentioned in a blog before.  I wouldn’t know what to do on a date.  My palms would sweat so I couldn’t hold his hand.  He would lean in for a kiss and I would be completely oblivious to his intentions.  Or, he would lean in for a kiss and I would giggle, then he would get all self conscious, and wonder what he has done wrong.  Then there is the chance that I could be head over heels for the guy, but not know how to show it and he would stop talking to me because he doesn’t think I am interested.

Why does the idea of dating have to be so confusing and scary.  Maybe it’s not even the dating thing that worries me, just the idea of letting someone get close.  There is also the fear of being completely crushed.

Of course, my fear doesn’t stop me from dreaming.  But my day dreams usually start with the guy bluntly telling me he is into me and wants to take me on a date.  On the date he will tell me he wants to hold my hand and he will ask if he can kiss me.  Everything straight forward because I am not good with hints.

I think I am doomed.  I should just go ahead and start planning adoption, because at this rate I will never get married.

Go on, laugh.  It really is kind of funny.  Sad, but funny.