Fitness Sunday: Week 22

Fitness Sunday

Hello Nerds!

So I am finally going to do it. I am finally going to share with the world what my weight is…because I feel like it will help keep me just a tad more honest with myself through the week. I’m tired of just sharing how much weight I lost or gained. Maybe if others know my weight I won’t be so quick to shrug and eat a cookie or something.

Last weeks weight: 222
This weeks weight: 219

3 pounds this week! I’m terribly excited about that. I did something exciting this week…I didn’t have any sweets! As of this day, I am 8 days in to no sweets. An entire week. I have done it! Hopefully the first week is the hardest. I had a few moments where I thought I was just going to give in, but I didn’t.

I have done my challenge for two straight weeks now. It’s almost becoming a habit. I can now do sit-ups without putting my feet under my entertainment center. I am up to 15 push-ups! They are not great push-ups, but I am getting there. I have even thrown in a few butt exercises…you know, to work on one of my greatest assets.

I am finding it harder to stay away from bread though. I had bread one day this week. Which isn’t too bad, but I failed myself. I will try again this week and the next, until I get it right.

Today starts a new diet plan for my family. It’s something my mom found in a magazine and it’s not really a diet. It’s more of a plan to follow to make sure you are getting enough of everything. It’s teaching you how to eat properly. It teaches portion sizes, and it makes us eat 5 small meals a day. If I follow it right it’s supposed to help us lose so many pounds a week..I can’t remember how many.

I feel like, for the first time in my life, I am finally taking a step in the right direction. I am not doing a spur of the moment routine or crazy diet. I am not finding excuses to slack off. I could do better with exercises. I have exercise videos that are less than 30 minutes and it would be easy to do them, but I am working up to that. Right now, I am just slowly getting into this thing.

I know that if I don’t push myself to do too much too quick, these changes I am making now will be a life long thing and not just something to lose weight.

How was your fitness week?

Toodles

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Fitness Sunday: Week 9

Fitness Sunday

This has not been a good week at all! I had Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off at the beginning of the week. My life went down the drain with those three days off. I don’t know what it is, but I didn’t do much of anything those three days. I could have written blog post, prepared my weekly agenda, cleaned my room. Nope, did nothing but read and play games. Granted, I have been working super hard and needed a day of relaxation, but not three.

By Tuesday I was no longer taking my vitamins, I had eaten a ton of sweets, and I was super depressed. I figured out that I need human interaction on a daily basis to feel…good? Which is odd seeing as I have always been the shy one.

So, my healthy eating went out the window. I haven’t been able to get back to drinking 3 liters of water a day. And I am having trouble getting back to taking my vitamins like I should. It’s amazing how long it takes to build a habit and how quickly you can break that habit. I am very frustrated with myself to be honest.

This week I have not lost any weight. I have not gained any either, unless it was about a pound. Lucky for me I didn’t completely destroy my progress and I can get back on it. But it has been so hard.

Friday night I was hit with a panic attack and all I wanted to do was curl into myself and disappear. I don’t know where it came from, but I do know that when I was on top of my game I was feeling good. Now things have fallen to the wayside and I need to get back to the person I was becoming.

Yeah, no matter how diligent you are in your health and fitness, sometimes things just don’t go the right way. Sometimes your mind takes on some muddled mess and ruins your hard work. Or maybe that is just who I am. Maybe it is all a part of my personality. I try to do too much and at some point I just break and do nothing at all. You can even see the decline in blog post from the past few weeks.

My goal this week is to get myself back to where I was a few weeks ago. I am cutting out sweets again, drinking 3 liters of water a day, and making sure to take my vitamins every day. This week is a rehabilitation week. Just focus on getting back to where I was. I also need to find some new way to deal with stress than grabbing something sweet. Maybe I should try the whole work out thing. lol

Toodles

Prompt Challenge 2-1: Diet to Death

Prompt Challenge

I’m so sorry this is late! I got a new game and let the world disappear. But here it is…late in the day. I didn’t want to make anyone wait another day…for those who actually enjoy reading my silly short stories.

CreamPuff

This challenge is so not as easy as the last one. I seem to be a one track mind when it comes to this challenge. But I will make it work! But, don’t expect much from this one. It may be horrible…

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2-1 Diet to Death

It was late at night and Diane had just polished off the last cream puff in the box, wiped her face with a napkin and sighed. She was supposed to start her new diet that day, but one bad decision led to another and before long, she was sitting at her kitchen table eating an entire box of cream puffs. She would start her new diet tomorrow…always tomorrow.

Diane woke up early, just as she planned. It was the first day of her new diet. She was in a good mood this morning; she knew that today was the start of a brand new life. She was tired of being the fat girl with a pretty face, she wanted to be the fit and beautiful woman. She had every intention of being as healthy as possible. There was no more tomorrow, there was only today.

Her first task of the day was to jog a mile on her treadmill. It was brand new and she couldn’t wait to use it. Diane had considered running the track around the apartment complex, but she wasn’t confident enough for that yet. Diane pulled on her yoga pants, changed into her sports bra and tank top that had “Progress. Not Perfection” written in silver letters. She thought that if she liked her work out clothes, her work out would be easier. With her shoes tied snug and water bottle full, she hopped on to the treadmill and started out slow, bumping up the speed every few minutes.

Thirty minutes later, she was breathless, sweaty, and proud to have gone a mile in thrity minutes. She also felt like she deserved the breakfast she had prepared for herself. It was a smoothie made with orange juice, Greek yogurt, and frozen berries. All she had to do was throw it all into her brand new blender and then put it in her brand new water bottle she had reserved for her smoothies. But first, she reminded herself she needed a shower. She had read a study that said a shower right after work out helped burn more calories. She didn’t know if it was true, but there was no harm in trying.

After her shower she cleared the steam off the mirror and smiled at the glowing woman staring back at her. But her smile quickly faded away as she pointed out her chubby cheeks and her double chin. She studied the rest of her body in the mirror. She picked at her love handles, round jiggly belly, and the fat that hung off her arms, bat wings, she liked to call them. Tears streamed down her face, she hadn’t expected instant results but she didn’t want to hate what she saw in the mirror.

After putting on her work clothes she left the bathroom, eyes wiped clean of tears and covered in make-up. She had thrown her hair into a pony-tail and left her house, skipping the smoothie she prepared the night before, but grabbing her lunch. Skipping breakfast wasn’t a big deal, she couldn’t afford the calories any ways.

The work day was slow and her stomach was growling, but she managed to keep herself busy enough to not think about it too much. Working retail, there was always something to do, always something to clean, and always a customer to help. It had been the most productive day in her career. Lunch time finally rolled around and Diane was starving. She stepped into the restroom the wash her hands and check her make-up.

The mirror doesn’t lie. She looked horrible. Her eyeliner had smeared and faded and her skin glistened with oil. She quickly washed her face and frowned, noticing her chubby cheeks and double chin again. She decided she didn’t need lunch, she would just drink a lot of water and trick her stomach into thinking it was full of food. She walked around the parking lot for her break, drinking plenty of water and clocked back in to finish her day.

After work, some co-workers invited Diane to go out to eat with them. She declined the offer out of fear of eating something she knew she shouldn’t be eating. Instead she went straight to the gym; another new thing in her life. It was the first time she had been to the gym and she wasn’t sure what to do, but she would figure it out. She would start on the treadmill and watch others as they used the machines to get an idea of what to do.

Two hours later, Diane left the gym. She was so tired she couldn’t keep her eyes open. The drive home felt long and all she could think about was going to bed. She skipped yet another meal and went straight to bed when she got home, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

The next day, the alarm woke her up, another early day. She was shocked that she wasn’t hungry, having not anything the day before. She started the day off like the one before. Running on the treadmill, but it took her longer to run today. She was just so tired. After her run she prepared her shower, stripping off her sweaty clothes and stepping on the scale before she got into the warm shower. She clapped in joy when the scale told her she had already lost 5 pounds. She was so happy that she forgot to eat breakfast and didn’t grab anything for lunch. She went to work and worked all day, even through her lunch break. She didn’t want to give herself any reason to think about food.

After work she returned to the gym for another two hour work out. Her tiredness had diminished some and she was running on a work out high. She was so pumped when she got home that she skipped dinner again to get on the treadmill for another hour of jogging.

The next day was the same routine all over again.

The fourth day she didn’t have to work. She used the day to clean out her cabinets, throwing out any and all food that had sugar. Then she decided to throw out anything that was processed, which left her cabinets bare. After an hour on the treadmill she went to the grocery store for fresh fruits. She didn’t want to starve herself, but she liked that she had already lost 10 pounds. She wasn’t very hungry either, but according to a little research, her body was breaking down everything, including muscle. She wanted to be skinny, but she wanted muscle too.

After her trip to the grocery story she went home, put everything up and decided to grab an apple and go to the gym. She left the apple in her car, promising she would eat it after her work out.

As usual she started out on the treadmill doing intervals of running for a minute and walking for a minute. She was getting better already. Another two hours later she was headed out the door of the gym, her mouth watering at the thought of the apple in her car. She passed a laughing group of girls, catching their conversation as she walked by. They had been talking about her, poking fun at her chubby cheeks and round stomach. One of the girls whispered “baby got back. Like an Elephant” as Diane walked by.

The drive home Diane cried, hating everything about her body. She wasn’t dedicated enough. At home, she sat the apple back in the bowl on the counter and went to bed.

A month went by and Diane had only eaten enough to keep herself from fainting. A few nuts and maybe an apple every few days. She spent hours in the gym and even more hours on her treadmill at home. She had lost 30 pounds in the month and she was finally seeing some results. But she also still saw her chubby cheeks and love handles. People started telling her how good she looked, though, and that was enough to keep her going. She wanted to work harder, longer, better. She was going to be skinny and she would do whatever it took.

Another month later the weight loss had slowed. She was eating a little more food and on good days she would eat an entire meal. She had even gone on a date with a guy from work. One morning she got on the scale and noticed she had gained a pound since the day before and it made her sick. She wouldn’t eat anything that day. She called out of work so she could spend the day at the gym, and it was the worst mistake she could ever make.

At the gym, all of her extreme dieting had caught up to her. She passed out while on the treadmill, falling and being flung into the floor. When she finally came to, she was in a hospital bed plugged into machines. A nurse came in and explained to her that she had broken her ankle and would have to be off of it for six weeks or better. Meaning, no more running or working out. It was devastating to Diane. She was sent home with orders to get plenty of rest.

She was put out of work because there was no light duty for her to do. She spent all day locked in her home, not able to work out, nothing to keep her busy and her mind off food. It was more than she could take. She could feel the pounds coming back. She could feel the laughter and the jokes. She could hear the girls calling her an elephant. She couldn’t go back to that, she wouldn’t go back to that.

Six weeks later a knock came from Diane’s door. No one had seen her since she broke her ankle and she missed her doctor’s appointment. Her co-workers were worried about her and had sent the manager to check on her. When no one came to the door, he knocked again while looking for somewhere a key may be hidden. In all honesty, Lucas had been excited to see Diane. He had been attracted to her since the day she started working for him. It wasn’t appropriate, him being her boss and all, but he decided he didn’t care. He had seen all the hard work Diane had put into her work and herself before she had been injured. He had planned on promoting her and asking her out all in one go. That was why he was there.

He finally found a spare key and unlocked the door. He knew she had to be home, her car was parked in front of her door. He shouted into the house, calling for Diane, but no one answered. A bad feeling came over him as he stepped into the house and smelled the rotting fruit. He called her name again, getting no response.  He heard voices in the living room and followed them to find the TV was on. He saw the top of Diane’s head on the couch. He said her name again, walking over to touch her shoulder.

He recoiled in horror as he took in the woman that lay on the couch before him. She was swiveled up, wasting away. Or wasted away. No breath escaped her lungs and no life passed her eyes. Lucas covered his mouth and ran out of the apartment, puking in the bushes. He had been too late. Diane had died of starvation.

All she wanted was to be loved, to be cherished, to be skinny and healthy. The cruel world had pushed her to believe the only way to achieve that was to starve herself and she had quickly taken it too far.

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I hope you enjoyed this. For other prompts and short stories check out THIS page.

Toodles

Sore Feet and Determination

First I would like to thank all the lovely new followers!! I promise I will get around to looking at your blogs and following back. Right after I catch up on all my other readings.

I have been a little MIA lately.  I think part of me is just too lazy to sit down and write a blog and another part of me feels like I don’t have anything interesting to say. Which is completely insane because I am awesome and everything I say is interesting. 

I have been doing the same thing I was doing last time I made a post. Baking cakes and cupcakes, working, and going to the gym.  Let’s not forget reading.  I’m sure I have time for much more, but I let the day get away from me.

What other things should I be doing? I will give you a list.

  1. Writing.  My biggest dream is to become a traditionally published author and meet the great Stephen King. Wow Mr. King with my fancy words and wild imagination and then co-write a book with him.  It’s a big dream, I know, but why dream if you can’t dream big?
  2. Learning to use photoshop again so I can make my wordpress look that much more awesome. I lost Photoshop for a while and just got it back on my computer. I was super excited, but I haven’t used it yet.
  3. Baking more cakes.  I have a few people wanting cakes.  I need to practice making different cakes so I can get to my other dream of owning my own bakery. Yes, this girl has many dreams. I just can’t help myself.
  4. Reading more!! I have a goal of reading 50 books this year. I set my goal on Goodreads and until now I have always been a few books ahead. Now, I am “right on track.” I don’t like being “right on track!” I need to be ahead for when the holidays come around and I can’t read as much. I have to meet at least this goal this year!!
  5. Spending more time with Pixel.  My poor puppy probably feels neglected. I am always at work, at the gym, or hanging out at the mall with my cousin.  Pixel has to stay behind at home and wait for my return. But, when she greets me when I get home…best feeling in the world.

I’m tired of the list now. There are tons of things I need to be doing, but never seem to find the time to do them. My priorities are a little messed up I guess. 

A little update, my feet hurt so bad! They are swollen and painful. I know it’s because of my weight, but with my cousin now going to the gym with me I am going a lot more. We have fun and get a good work out in. Hopefully I can stick to it this time. I just have to cut out the junk food. I have to try smaller samples of my cakes.

It’s obvious that I have to try them to see if they taste good, but I should probably just stop at a little taste. 

I know that once I lose the weight I won’t have the problem with my feet anymore. I know that I am fat…there really is no other word for it. I will own up to the fact that I am fat and I need to do something about it. My biggest problem is night time. For some reason I want to eat everything in site. It’s just another thing I need to work on.  And I will. I am determined to be the girl I see in my head.

Fish and Shrimp and Chicken, Oh My!

Monday I started making changes to my diet.  A lot of changes actually.  I am not alone though, I have two other people changing their diet as well.  We decided to go on the Mediterranean diet, simply because it is something we can keep up for the rest of our lives and there isn’t anything we can’t have.

The basics of the diet is you eat a lot of fruits and veggies and you only get 3 red meats a month.  Also, you only get 3 sweets a week, which is where I will be having trouble.  I love my sweets and sometimes it’s the only thing that settles my stomach.  Though, red meat is what usually causes my stomach to have issues in the first place so I might be okay.

Basically, you follow the food pyramid that you learned in elementary school.

mediterranean-diet

It’s rather simple and you get so many calories based on your starting weight.  I won’t go into my current weight, it’s rather embarrassing.  I once lost a lot of weight and then ended up gaining it all back.  I am back to my high school weight, but I don’t look as fat as I did in high school.

Anyways, I have lost 3 pounds so far just this week and that is without the exercise that I am supposed to be getting.  I am using the excuse that my puppy gets in the way and I can’t do my yoga, but I know she would probably just sleep in her bed while I got in my exercise.

The best thing that is coming out of this is that I am actually learning to cook.  And not just throwing something in the oven to heat it up, but actual cooking.  Like tonight I made lemon pepper flounder, shrimp, and steamed kale.  I learned that I actually love kale and the health benefits are amazing.  I’m so excited to learn how to cook healthy dinners.

I think I have had steamed vegetables for dinner every night this week and I can’t get enough of them. I had steamed green beans last night and those were amazing.  It’s so amazing how healthy you can cook with so little.  I wonder why I haven’t done this sooner.

From now on I want to post at least one blog a week about how my health and fitness is going.  The only goal I have is to eat healthy and work out on a regular basis.  I want to lose weight, but I want to focus more on the health benefits instead of being so stuck on a number on a scale.  Don’t worry, I won’t bore you all to death with what I eat everyday.  It will be a weekly check in to share if I lost any weight and what things I struggled with the most.  I will share my favorite new recipes as well!

I can tell you right now the two things I am going to have the most trouble with is the sweets and actually eating all the calories I am supposed to eat.  With all the junk food taken out of life (not ALL of it but most) it’s hard to eat all the calories I am supposed to eat.

I’m following the yellow brick road to the land of healthy!

Watch Me

The other day, my mom made the comment that if I was as dedicated to losing weight and watching my diet, as I am to writing, I would be in really good shape.  After thinking about it, I realize she is so right!  I can be super tired, have a raging headache, and want noting more than to sleep, but I make myself get up and write.  I even skipped church a few times to get a little more time to write.  This is new though, I just got back to writing like this.  I am writing anywhere from 2000 to 3000 words a day, and then a daily blog.  Yeah, I missed a few days with the blog, but I don’t plan on that happening again.

I decided I am going to try very hard, to be just as dedicated to my health as I am my writing.  I mean, writing is my passion, it is how I release the stress of every day life.  I dream of days when I actually get paid for doing the one thing I love the most.  I think I would become very lazy though, sitting at the computer all day writing.  Though, probably not much lazier than I am now.  Now, I sit 8 hours a day at work, then come home and sit behind the computer to write.  Maybe if I was getting paid for my work I wouldn’t be so lazy.

That is why I have decided that my health needs to be part of my passion.  I write because I want to be an inspiration to others, my main focus being on teens.  My heart goes out to teens and how hard life can seem at their age.  I just want to be the person they can look up to.  But I can’t be that person if I let my health go, just because I hide behind a computer all day.  It’s going to be hard, but that is what being a role model is all about.  We work hard for what we have, and we show people that it is possible.

Right now, I am almost at my heaviest.  I have set a goal for my latest novel, I want to have it ready for publishing August 21st, my birthday.  I want to keep that date, I want to add to my goal.  By August 21st, I want to be the healthiest I have ever been.  Which means, I need to lose at least 30 pounds.  But it’s not just the weight that has to go.  I have to do other things, like giving up all the candy that I love, and the sodas.  As much as I am doing it for myself, I am also doing it for anyone struggling with health issues.  Kids, teens and adults alike. I am doing this to prove to everyone, that no matter how busy you feel you are, it can be done.

At the moment, I consider myself working two full time jobs.  My regular day job, and writing.  So let’s add one more full time job to that, because isn’t your health a full time job?  Can it be done?  Of course it can.  Watch me.