I am here to announce that I have had another good week! Not as good as last week, but it is good.
I only lost 1 pound this week. But that is one pound down, one pound closer to my goal, on pound less than when I started, one less pound holding me down!
Shockingly I have met some people trying to deflect my attempts at losing weight. I am told often that I am fine the way I am and that I shouldn’t be restricting myself or trying so hard. It doesn’t bother me too much, I love that there are people out there willing to accept me just the way I am.
It also made me really think about why I want to lose weight. Why am I putting myself through this? Why did I stop eating sweets (which I had a few sweets this week but they were small treats and they didn’t derail my attempts)? There are many reasons I want to do this.
One being that most of my life I thought I was single because of my weight. It has been in-bedded into the back of my brain, by myself, that in order to be loved I have to be thin. And while that is not true, there is some truth to my weight being the reason I am still single. They say in order to find love you have to love yourself. While I love me, there are some parts of me that I don’t love and that causes a huge lack of confidence. So yes, my weight is the issue, but not because guys see me as some undesirable fat blob, but because that is how I see me. Or used to see me. I am quite fond of myself now.
Which brings me to the next reason I want to lose weight. I want to be that girl that everyone looks and and says “wow, she works really hard and she looks amazing.” I want to be the girl that knows I will bring my own water to a party out of fear that they will not offer water. I want to be the girl who goes out for a jog just because it’s a beautiful day. I want to be the woman that young girls look up to and want to be like because this world is majorly lacking in good female role models.
Third, my mom bought me a corset a few years ago for my birthday. I have not been able to wear it yet because she got the biggest size the company offered and it was too small. I want to be able to fit into it by my birthday this year. A way to say “Yeah, I’m 30 but I look good!” If I can’t lose enough weight by August I will shoot for December, but I really want to do it in August.
The last and final reasons I want to be healthier and lose weight is all about health issues. I fear that maybe my ankle has been bothering me because of my weight. That is why I have not been back to the doctor. If I lose weight and it still bothers me I will know that it wasn’t my own fault, that it wasn’t because of the weight I had gained while getting comfortable at a desk job. And, my mom was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and I don’t want to go down that road. Don’t worry, my mom is awesome and took her health as her number one priority when she found out. She lost a bunch of weight and is now smaller than me, which makes me want to lose weight even more so I can be smaller than her. LOL
Tell me, what are your reasons for losing weight?