I Just Want to Walk Again

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Yesterday my ankle felt great. This morning I went to work and didn’t limp as bad as I have been. At 4 when I got off work I was in a little pain and drove home without too much pain. Then, on the way to dinner the pain hit. The pain hit so hard I almost cried, I wanted to cry. I wanted to actually die at one point. To give up and give in because I just can’t take this pain anymore.

We went to Red Lobster for my mom’s birthday dinner. I was excited about going to eat as well as the fact that my ankle was doing much better. I should have known that the pain wasn’t too far away. I should have known that one long day at work I would come home in pain.

I was hopeful yesterday because the past few days the pain has not been as bad. I thought I was actually, finally healing. I was looking forward to starting my training. I promised myself that as soon as my ankle was better I was going to start training for a 5k. Like, serious training. I was going to start walking first, to make sure my ankle could take it. Then slowly start jogging and work myself up to doing a full 5k.

From there I am going to train for a marathon and do as many as I can afford to do. I want to do the marathons that raise money for good causes.

One thing that I have learned during all this is how much I take walking for granted. I would sit for so long, not caring about anything. I would sigh when I had to get up and walking to the kitchen or when I had to walk into work. I hated going to the park to walk, but I would go anyways and get annoyed at all the walking. I would complain that my feet hurt or I was just too tired. I just didn’t want to walk.

Running was out of the question. I didn’t want to run, I thought it was useless to run. I didn’t want to run a 5k even though I went to walk one once.

Now that I can’t run and can barely walk I hate myself for taking my mobility for granted. There are so many people that can’t walk and here I was just taking advantage of two good feet and strong legs.

Once this is all over I will do something good with my working limbs. I will train hard, walk as much as I can, run as many 5k’s and marathons as I can afford. I will never take it for granted again that I can get up and walk with no problems.

Dear God, please let my ankle get better because I am so ready to become a runner.

Meet Again 2

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