Blowing off Steam


Forgive me for this totally random post, but this is a blog about my awkward life and I shall use it for everything.

As some of you already know, I am single.  Others of you may have seen a blog or two about the fact that I am still a virgin.  Yes, I am 28 with no sexual experience.  In fact, I have never even been kissed before.

Think what you must of me, but I do have a few pictures within my blog.  I don’t think I am an ugly girl, in fact I think I am rather gorgeous. Yes…I will own up to it!  Especially since my acne seems to be clearing up.

Anyways, I have chosen to be a virgin and I plan to keep it that way until I am married.  At least that is the plan right now.  Some people think that I may possibly change my mind once I fall in love.  Who knows, but as of now this is me.  The whole never been kissed thing is probably because I was never very confident in myself and failed to see when any guy might be flirting with me.  I am still completely blind to when a guy flirts with me.  This has led to a life of singleness.  Never had a boyfriend, unless you count the two online relationships that lasted maybe a month.  One ended because the guy was a bit of a player, the other ended because I thought it meant more to me then it meant to the guy.  Typical I guess.

The other day I got tired of my single status and I did something crazy.  It’s something that I always do when I start feeling like I will be single forever.  I signed up for a dating site.  A lot of people use these sites, and a lot of people have found their husbands and wives on these sites.  It’s the new thing.  You get to know someone online and then meet them in person.  Fall in love. BAM! Get married.

I was not meant to be one of the lucky ones.  Nope, it just isn’t working for me.

Before I go any further let me say, I have met a few great guys on a dating site and who knows what will come out of those friendships.  But it’s so rare that I find a nice guy.

I have also met some really jerks.  And this is where my virginity comes into play.

Here comes my rant…please put your seat belts on and keep your hands inside the ride at all times.

For some reason the fact that I am a virgin means that I am on dating sites to find some guy to sleep with.  Evidently the word “virgin” flips a switch in a males brain that convinces him that I need “help” with my “situation.”  It also leads some people to think that I am some religious extremist that can not see the world with an open mind.

Neither of these are true.  My virginity is part of a promise that I made myself when I was younger.  I promised myself that I would save myself for marriage and there are benefits to this. One, I won’t get some kind of random STD because I am sleeping with who ever comes around.  Two, I won’t end up with a kid when I am not ready.  Three, I will have something amazing to offer to the man I marry.

I am in no way dissing you if you think different.  I am cool with what ever life people want to live.  It is your life, and this is mine.

I have also run into the problem that when I tell a guy that I am a virgin he instantly stops talking to me.  I don’t get that…guys are always talking about how they want a good honest girl.  I am a good honest girl so where is my reward? And by reward I mean a great guy who doesn’t feel the need to sleep with a girl he went on one date with.

I know it sounds like I am clumping all guys into one category.  I don’t mean to, it just seems like the only guys I meet are the same.  The only guys that want anything to do with me see me as some kind of conquest.

Oh, and let’s not forget how offended a guy gets when you turn him down.  Sir, I read your profile and I don’t think we would get along.  I am not the girl you are looking for.  I am trying to say this nicely, but you have forced me to pull out my witch mode. 

Again, I have met some great guys, but it never seems to go anywhere.  Someone please tell me what I am doing wrong.  Am I too nice?  Too innocent?

UGH!! *Screams into pillow.*

When did the search for love become so complicated and muddied with crap?

*Rant over*

Thanks for riding the rant roller coaster.  If you made it to the end, congratulations.  A cookie has already been added to your internet browser. Thank you, come again.

Do any of you have dating advice or horror stories from dating?  Or even stories of how great things turned out for you in the department of love.  I could use some hope that things do sometimes work out!


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