My Guilty Pleasure

I was reading a blog yesterday about the top 10 selling authors.  Stephenie Meyer came up in the list.  Most people hate her for what she did to vampires, I kind of do too.  She became famous from a story that implied to for a girl to be happy she has to have a guy by her side.  At least that is what everyone says.  To me, when I first read the book it was about finding love when you least expect it.  It was this average girl catching the eye of the unattainable guy that all the girls fawn over.

I am the average girl.  I would have loved to have caught the attention of the guy who had not shown interest in the other girls.  I wanted to be the special girl that melted a cold heart.  Can you blame me for falling in love with this story?

I still remember walking into Target, going straight to the books, and becoming completely captivated by a book with such a simple cover.  Just hands holding an apple.  I had no idea what the book was about and decided that it was probably something stupid so I continued to browse.  My mind stayed on that book, but my hands were trying to escape its draw.  I finally gave in, I mean, the title was Twilight!  I like all things night…

I read the back and was hooked when it said it was about vampires.  I love vampires and just can’t get enough of them!  Reading through the book I didn’t even mind the sparkling.  What I didn’t like was that they didn’t have fangs.  That actually made me angry.  But I was in love with the love story.  I wanted to be Bella.  I wanted to be the new girl that everyone wanted, but only the popular guy would get. Forgive me for being such a girl.

It wasn’t just the story that connected me to Twilight.  While I was reading through the series my grandpa passed away.  I found out at like midnight or something like that.  I had been asleep and my mom woke me up to tell me my grandpa had passed away.  I was devastated.  My grandpa was someone that I had always looked up to and the only grandparent I had left that really cared about me.

I had tried to go back to sleep, to sleep away my puffy eyes and my broken heart.  Every time I closed my eyes my grandpas face was there.  I couldn’t stop crying and I wasn’t going to get any sleep.  I sat up in bed, pulled out whatever book in the series I was reading and I lost myself in the book.  I welcomed the troubled love triangle and the crazy glittering vampires.  I hid in my cave of fantasy and I didn’t want to come out.  I think I read the entire book that night and once the sun came up I went for a walk.

See, Twilight isn’t just because I love bad writing and an even worse love story.  I don’t get some kind of pleasure of love triangles (Though it would be awesome to have two guys fighting over me).  Twilight is a huge part of me because it helped me through one of the hardest times of my life.  It offered comfort where no one else could.  It was my life vest and my ship had just sunk.

So maybe it’s not a guilty pleasure, but a safety net that I still hang on to.  One day I will read the series again and see if I still love it.  The movies ruined it and the little teeny boopers that crowded the theaters made it even worse.  The books will always have a special place in my heart simply because at some point in my life they gave me support that was better than a shoulder to cry on.

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