Wacky Wednesday: Sleepless Nights

I have trouble going to sleep at night.  This has been going on for years.  The nights that I do get to bed early and fall asleep quickly, I wake up with a bad headache and feeling even less rested then nights that I toss and turn all night.

I do move a lot in my sleep, I actually feel sorry for my future husband.  He will either wake up with bruises all over his body from me kicking or punching him.  Or he will learn to sleep in another bed. Maybe once I get married I will chill out with the sleep fighting.  I’m pretty sure I am taking sleep karate or something.

I figured out why I feel like I don’t get any rest when I sleep so hard.  It gives the vampire, who lives in my closet, time to feed!  I am sleeping so hard that nothing can wake me, so he swoops in and takes a little blood.  Of course, how else would a closet vampire survive.  He doesn’t get out much, because he is afraid of the world.  Which, really doesn’t make sense.  He is strong, fast and super old.

How do I know all this about him?  I honestly don’t know.  I think on nights that I don’t sleep as hard, he talks to me through the closet door.  I just think I am dreaming.  I also think that he changed the time on my clock this morning.  My clock was an hour fast and I thought I was going to have a panic attack because I was super late getting up.  I was actually baffled that time had gone by so quickly so I checked my watch.  Evidently the vampire couldn’t figure out my watch or my iPhone…

So there you have it.  I have a vampire living in my closet.  He drains my energy when he can’t get to my blood and feeds on my blood when ever he gets a chance.  I wonder if he is cute, because I would totally give him my blood willingly if he is cute.  I like to imagine that he has long flowing, black as night hair.  Deep sea green eyes, and that strong jaw that I love in a guy.  Yep, my dream guy is a vampire, living in my closet.  Now, if I could just get him over his social anxiety and convince him to show himself to me.

I may be a vampire by the end of this year!


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