Battling the Clock

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I am not a morning person.  I hate mornings.  I hate crawling out of bed before noon.  Actually, it’s more like throwing myself out of bed.  It takes a lot to get up, but we live in the world where the sun rules.  I would much rather stay up all night and sleep all day.  There would be benefits to it! Like, it never gets as hot outside at night as it is during the day.  There would be less sun burn, resulting in less skin cancer.  Come one, you know I’m right.

Okay, so I am not a morning person because I do stay up late at night, but I can’t sleep at night!

In order to get myself out of bed in the mornings I have to set three alarms.  It used to only be two, until my sleeping mind learned how to turn them off.  That resulted in being late for work a few days, so I had to crack down and get another alarm.

The new alarm works, but I have noticed a problem.  My alarm clock tends to take on a personality in the mornings.  It’s very bossy some days, telling me how lazy I am and how late I am going to be for work.  This is actually most mornings.  It even picks on the other alarms, telling them how worthless they are.  One alarm took it so bad that it actually tells the proper time now.  It hasn’t done that in years!

This morning though, my new alarm clock took a different approach.  Instead of being the bad guy, telling me to get my lazy butt up, it was being a different kind of bad.  It decided that it wanted to be the fat comic book guy from Simpsons.  It kept telling me how comfortable my bed was and how I had at least another 30 minutes to sleep.

As my time started to run short, you know, the last few minutes you have before you will absolutely be late, the clock got even worse.   It was telling me that I didn’t really need to go to work, I don’t need the money.  It said I could quit my job, stay in bed, and live off of my parents.  Which, is so wrong because my parents almost can’t afford the bills they have now.

Of course, I got mad at he clock, turned off its alarm and crawled out of bed.  I was going to show that clock I could get up in the mornings.  I was going to show it I was a responsible adult that would not rely on my parents to take care of me.

Now, I am a little confused.  Was the alarm clock using reverse psychology on me, or was it just tired of trying to get me out of bed?  I’m sure it doesn’t appreciate the bruises it receives from me hitting snooze.  It could have just been trying to get out working so hard in the mornings.

Maybe the alarm hates mornings as much as I do!


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