As a kid, I was bullied. I was the chunky girl that everyone loved to pick on. I had no confidence in myself and at one point I wanted to die. I remember once, staring at a knife and wondering how hard I would have to push on it to make the blood drain from my veins. From 3rd to 7th grade I felt like the whole school wanted me dead. I hated me and I wanted it all to end.
I have always been a believer in God. I have always prayed. And I have also always been told that if I killed myself I would go to hell. Sometimes I think that the fear of hell was the only thing that kept me from killing myself. That didn’t stop me from wanting to die though. I remember laying in bed some nights, crying and begging God to take me. I would tell God to bring me home, that I just wasn’t cut out for this world. I wanted out. Then my dad got hurt and life just seemed to get worse. My wish for death got stronger.
I finally made it to high school. I wore black clothes and dark make-up. But I finally found friends. They pulled me out of the dark and helped me get better. I am grateful for my friends who saved me, and for my parents who didn’t give up on me.
With all that said, what is up with kids now days? I know my own story of being bullied, but it was no where near as bad as some of the stories you hear today. These poor kids are being destroyed. Someone finds their weakness and just pounds them with words and fist. I feel like some kids just don’t have a strong family life, and that is what leads them to killing themselves.
I thought it was bad, but I never thought it was as bad as it is. I fear for my own future children.
I read an article the other day about a girl who was gang raped. As if that was bad enough, the boys that raped her took a picture. The picture got out to the school that the girl attended. Instead of getting help, the poor girl was bullied. She was called a whore! Why?? How could someone be so cruel? The girl moved to another school, but she was still bullied. People would send her messages. Because she just couldn’t take it anymore, she killed herself.
My heart breaks for her and her family. My heart breaks for every teenager that has killed themselves because they are bullied. They feel like there is no other way out other than taking their own lives. It isn’t right for someone to be in so much pain, that early in life. Or at all.
I ask you all, young or old, if you see or hear someone being bullied, DO SOMETHING! Don’t let these kids think they are alone. Don’t let them get so far gone that they kill themselves.
If you are bullying people, I ask, what is your deal? Why do you feel the need to do so?
If you are being bullied, please find help. I know I am just words on a screen, but behind these words is a real life person. I would love to give you someone to talk to. I am here for anyone that needs to talk. Together, we could find why you deserve to live.
This is my cry to the world to stop this madness. It has gotten worse. It is up to us to stop it. It is up to the ones that see it, to report it. It us up to us to give these kids a life line. Together we can stop this.
I will be your life line!